Editor-In-Chief
Born as Arttimus Thattimus Yorkie, in a lively litter of eight adorable pups, his family and friends affectionately call him “Arttie” the “Cutie.” He truly needs no introduction, especially to all who have had the pleasure of knowing and possibly loving him throughout the years. Although some say that his bark is far worse than his bite, we can only speculate since he wears dentures. (Well, sometimes he does, but we still run the risk of being gummed to extinction when he doesn’t.) He has proudly held the position of Chief Editor of this prestigious Information Gathering Organization for a considerable length of time. Under his firm and sometimes stern management style, it has been rumored that we have risen to become one of the best Information Gathering Organizations in the entire known universe. However, over time, we have encountered some difficulties due to his more animalistic behaviors. The editorial staff has noted, reflecting on theories expounded by The Theory Academicians, that just because animals are domesticated, it does not mean they lose their instinctual behaviors, which continue to influence their actions.
Well, the Academicians were absolutely right on this one. During the daily morning information gathering meetings, the staff were required to wear full hazmat suits just to attend those sessions safely. We find it somewhat peculiar that Arttie has a fire hydrant shaped like a tree in his office. What makes it even more unusual is the fact that this hydrant is made entirely of steel and is rusting quite badly. Additionally, it’s worth noting that thousands of Central Bank Debt Notes are scattered all over the carpeted floor. These notes are soaked and stained with dog urine and feces. We hate to be so graphic, but unfortunately, that is the reality of the situation. Now, you can understand the reason behind the mandatory hazmat suits. It also explains why Arttie insisted on being paid in cash rather than digital “FUNNY MONEY,” as he calls it.
Well we know this is a very deep subject and a PH.d level college courses could be taught and reams of books could be written and scores of peer review papers could be written about this subject. Please wait, there are more revelations to ponder about Arttie’s natural instincts. Someone from the editorial staff called the Municipal Corporation and they sent health inspectors to access the situation. They came with Corporate Enforcers who looked mean and scary. The health inspectors inquired why he had all those Central Bank Debt Notes all over the floor he stated “I like to look at the pretty art work and try to paint them, because i love art.” “Since I can not laundry them anymore and dry cleaning is to expensive they got dirty in a hurry.” He continues “while doing my best business I add the serial numbers up in my head to improve my math skills.” The situation was resolved by removing the fire hydrant tree outside; ripping up the carpet and redecorating his office. Arttimus, promised not to use a fire hydrant tree inside or Central Bank Debt Notes for animalistic behaviors again. He was over heard saying that “can I get paid with something real like gold and silver or commodities with similar value?” The staff is reported as saying “we can not wait until Jessie Reportedly Lee becomes the Editor-In-Chief so, that we can have a more sane information gathering environment to work in.
This page is intended solely for ENTERTAINMENT purposes and should be viewed as such. The information provided here is presented to you in a completely FICTIONAL and FANTASY format, designed to entertain rather than inform. It is your responsibility to conduct your own research if you wish to verify the accuracy or truthfulness of any of the content. THE JANE LEIGH EDITORIAL TEAM make no assertions or claims regarding factual accuracy. We only affirm that this is not FAKE instead, it is carefully crafted shake and bake FICTION meant for your enjoyment.
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Jane Leigh EDITORS
01|00|2025
